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Marzipan is best served chilled.
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| Just like in the movies. |
| 03.09.06 (4:00 pm) [edit] |
Marzipan it would seem, have risen once more from the dead. Due to unforseen circumstances mainly to do with Marzipan members actually having lives, contrary to popular belief, there has not been a post on here for a while.
Do not fret, avid readers. We are currently in the process of finding new and disgusting local 'anti-talent' as we like to call it.
We realise our goal has not been achieved of sending 'The Alternative Ending', 'Every Reason To' and 'The Campfire Soundtrack' back from whence they came (unlike the progress we had with Second Hand Smile). We will however try to continue our efforts until the world is free of musical blasphemy such as those previously named.
On that note, Marzipan took the liberty of attending a recent 'Alternative Ending' event in Swansea. I think it is fair to say, we have never been so horrified in our entire lives. The question is, where to begin?
The musical talents of this band have always been in question, this is obvious. But really... we did not know it was possible to make music sound so bad. The strange effects that the vocalist and frontman (We shall hereby name him "Captain Arsehole") produces from his pathetic little machine make us cringe. Captain Arsehole also seems to think that he is some Freddie Mercury of the new decade, dancing around on stage like he has vocal talent, and like people actually give a shit about his presence in their lives. I'll tell you now, how wrong you are Captain Arsehole. If you got run over by a bus today... the only care I would have, is who would collect those sideburns. Because I really need a new pair of novelty slippers.
While we are on the subject of Captain Arsehole, Right Guard. Apparently it stops sweat?
On a more positive note, we have heard less and less of the pathetic 'Every Reason To' lately. With the exception of the same gig previously mention in which 'The Alternative Ending' headlined the reason for ending our own lives. I think it is fair to say by the crowd reaction how much the people of Swansea thought of the music played that night. We at Marzipan are glad to see that the arms of loyalty shown by your pubescent, musically retarded, Porthcawl fanbase does not extend further than we can piss upwards.
Marzipan.
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| We do not like green eggs and ham |
| 01.23.06 (3:59 am) [edit] |
R.I.P Dr Seuss.
"fuck you! i no exacly(sp) who u(sp) are and i have known who u(sp) have been for ages,(God only knows what school of Grammer this is from) if u want me to unleash ur(sp) identity i could and let me just say alot of people would put u(sp) back on crutches! this is me signing out robcarvill"
And then...
"Marzisam"
Oh dear, you have found us out! Yes, we here at Marzipan are OBVIOUSLY a boy named 'Sam' from Porthcawl. I mean, it makes so much sense. We are all glad that our true identity has been revealed. Thanks also must go out to those who notified us of becoming a singular body. When a collection of bodies becomes one it is a glorious occasion. Wait a second... have you brains been run over by the trucks carrying masses of hair gel for your fringes? WE ARE NOT ONE PERSON! ...or as Les Dennis put it:
"And our survey says, Eh Err."
But back to the point. We here at Marzipan have noticed LIES upon the internet!
"We are a tight band"
Source: http://www.myspace.com/everyr...
Ironically, the title of their song on Myspace is, wait for it, 'Such a Lie'.
“(Their frontman) producing a strong and commanding vocal with a tight, riff packed backdrop providing sturdy but exciting musical accompaniment - the songs have a strong metal edge but never descend into hardcore territory… It's melodic, intense stuff this - a loud brash act from the valleys.” Neon, London (2005)
Source: http://www.myspace.com/thealt...
Again, Lies. Call us here at Marzipan old fashioned, but we were under the impression that a three or four chord sequence is not classed as a riff packed backdrop, merely annoying. As for the noise coming from the vocalist, it sounds cliché, out of tune and unworthy of being on stage in front of us. Go back to the garage you call home and here are a few pointers, learn how to play your instruments, learn how to sing, learn how to write songs, practice for a couple more years... then come back and see what you have done. We were informed the other day of a gig that was going to take place soon. When we enquired into who was playing we were confronted with what is quite possibly the funniest thing of this 23 day year so far.
"...(the gig) is going to be more people based, you know without all that shit like the Alternative Ending. Bands people round here actually like."
The only way this quote could have been anymore perfect was if the afore mentioned bands were also included.
But you can't win them all.
We can though.
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| Well Done Assholes |
| 01.18.06 (4:34 pm) [edit] |
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Some of you kids are 'offended' by the previous post: "you have lost your touch marzipan. fair play this post is terrible looking at two guys kissing makes me want to projectile vomit. disgusting behaviour.
robcarvill "
"Ye it has been a bit boring lately , I mean stooping as low as getting a picture of boys going with each other , i mean you had to look for that like" Well done brothers dickless, you guys got it. You see, we posted this shit simply to showcase that we can now post pics on here. What better way than to offend you all by posting a picture of two males who look like you kissing, you brainless dolts? Way to play into our hands again, tools. "Can everyone stop using terms like 'emo' and 'scene' for things which have nothing to do with either of those? Thanks."
Aww, too close to home dear? I suppose the realisation that you're part of the disease we hate is too much? How about go suck a tail pipe? Okay? Thanks.
"Fuck the scene? How about fuck your mother?" Dude, just because you're a limp dick scene whore doesn't mean you should tell people about your sexual fantasies here. Just keep it to your whiney livejournal account okay? Loser.
"I've never seen a blog with so little passion and 'running out of idea'ness as that. I'd only give this a distinctly average 5/10. Do something funny!
Denatured Chris" Firstly we think you misunderstand. We're not here to impress anyone, or indeed do anything funny. We're deadly serious about what we stand for. This isn't a joke. The reason we included that picture with the post is explained above, the reason we wrote that post in the first place was because we know that some distinct scene whores read this site and we wanted to offend them. As you can see from the responses it worked. Anyway, just to cap this off we're working in the background and looking to improve the code somewhat. The server upgrade messed up a lot of our shit and it's going to take a few days to sort it out. Regardless, if you people come back or not we couldn't give a fuck. Marzipan. P.S. I suggest you guys wear the following, it's the only reason it'd happen for you: 
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| Just For Your Entertainment |
| 01.17.06 (9:02 am) [edit] |
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A quick post just for you 14-year-old scene sluts here's some 'emo porn' to brighten up your day. 
Two assholes, yesterday.
Oh isn't it so hot, guys kissing? I mean it's not like through mass marketing, media propaganda, socialist pinkos and the very 'scene' that you stand for aims to corrupt the minds of you kids, but also is engaged in a campaign to spread AIDS.
What can we say, but marvellous. Your very own corporate sponsors are supporting an ideal that puts you in the line of catching a critical illness. We can all sleep so much better in the knowledge that you scene idiots will all die from AIDS and the gene pool will be spared from you morons.
Now before you sophist retards start shouting, "OMGZ U R TEH HOMOPHOBZ!1" we'd like to point out that we have no problem with homosexuality. We're not here to impose any kind of lifestyle upon anyone, as is what our enemy 'the scene' does. What we have a problem with is trendy assholes like you popularising something as serious as one's own sexual orientation to get credit within a scene. If it were scene we bet you morons would be committing suicide. Oh wait, it is and you guys are.
We suppose it's just nature's way of weeding out the trash. Natural selection and all that.
Marzipan.
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| We're Still Here You Morons |
| 01.16.06 (5:45 pm) [edit] |
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T Blog has done a major update of the site, so just updating you all to say that we'll be back up in a full capacity soon and why everything looks different right now. And for you n00bs to the blog, we suggest you check out some of the previous posts for a bit of background and some classic reading. Continue to rage against the scene. 
Marzipan.
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| Every Racist To |
| 01.13.06 (8:32 am) [edit] |
So, we thought you guys were pretty much the lowest kind of remedial trash known to man but we didn't know you'd get this low. We recieved an absolute classic from an anonymous poster. Here is the message showing you victims of brain cancer exactly where he went grammatically wrong:
[b]"I FINK[/b][sic] [b]DAT[/b][sic] [b]DIS[/b][sic] [b]MARZIPAN WOTEVA[/b][sic] [b]GUY MUS[/b][sic] [b]B[/b][sic] [b]A FUKIN[/b][sic] [b]WOG[/b][sic] [b]OR SUMMIN[/b][sic] [b]LIKE COS[/b][sic] [b]EVRY[/b][sic] [b]REESON[/b][sic] [b]TO R[/b][sic] [b]FUKIN[/b][sic] [b]GUD[/b][sic] [b]LIKE I FUKIN[/b][sic] [b]LIKE PUNK AND ROCK INNIT[/b][sic] [b]GRREN DAY ANA[/b][sic] [b]SO FUK[/b][sic] [b]U[/b][sic] [b]MARZIPAN GO DIE!!!!!!!!!!"[/b]
And now on to content:
[i]I FINK DAT DIS MARZIPAN WOTEVA GUY MUS B A FUKIN WOG OR SUMMIN LIKE COS EVRY REESON TO R FUKIN GUD LIKE I FUKIN LIKE PUNK AND ROCK INNIT GRREN DAY ANA SO FUK U MARZIPAN GO DIE!!!!!!!!!![/i]
So we're, to use your term "WOGS", simply because we dislike the idol of bollocks that is Every Reason To? Not only a dumbass but a racist bigot too. We'll just add 'ignorant racist morons' to scene whores, 14-year-old sluts and former mental patients to the 'fanbase' list for these bands.
So you like punk and rock music? Fair enough, it makes sense that you'd post on a blog that concerns those genres of music, in other words: We don't need an explanation why you're here asshole.
[i]"GRREN DAY ANA"[/i]
Wow, the first 'punk' band that comes to your pathetic excuse for a mind is Green Day? Learn to spell you dolt, and what the hell is 'ANA'? Is it some kind of abbreviation for Arrogant Nazi Asshole by any chance? Seriously, way to go kid, these days if you mention any band you've got to mention Green Day for street 'cred' with the kids. You must be totally edgy and knowledgeable about music because you like [B]Green Day[/b](Before you ask, that was sarcasm asshole). We're not really fans of stale pop music ourselves. No doubt when we say 'punk' you think of the ideal that was bought years ago by the mainstream media, played up to 12-year-old kids who thought they were 'rebelling' by skate boarding in car parks and wearing Atticus branded clothing. This ended in it's total burnout as a casualty of over marketing and media hyperbole with it resembling nothing more than a genre filled, with a cabal of shameless, soulless, satan cock-sucking idiot fucks.
It's manual labour for you I'm afraid, there really is no hope for such an ignorant, scumfaced no-hoper such as yourself.
My God, we knew we were smart on average compared to the rest of the population but you people prove that we're the smartest people who ever lived.
We're so awesome.
Okay, now you guys may stop sucking our balls if you can.
Marzipan.
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| TAE Speak |
| 01.11.06 (2:04 pm) [edit] |
We were directed by a commentor to this:
[i]hey yeah bro, we've seen it, its some good shit :) dont really bother us at all, if ur gonna be in a band you have to be able to take some stick of things like "dai bloggs blog page, " cos everyones got an opinon, and as is obvious some people crave attention :) But yeah, gotta take stuff like that with a pinch of salt cos everyone gets shit, it made some good reading, and best of luck to him if it makes him happy innit, we know we are :)
it just bares the question... how far afield have these guys played... if they even have, and how many recordings have they made, if twiddling on his PC and entertaining his 5 online fans makes him happy then cool as fuck... we enjoy jamming and playing and recording music we like to play and enjoy doing so and if someone likes it then thats great, if not and some kinda foodstuff wants to make a blog to tell people about it then thats cool too, we always have fun and love our hobby, which is essentially what the band is.
Im sure pretty much all the above applies to yuo guys too, keep rocking and keep enjoying it as i know you, and we, will. We will have to do another gig together some time soon, top blokes! After all, kids with keyboards are never as big and nasty as the words they produce :)
The Alternative Ending x
PS. Sorry if this seems like an essay, just this post wont go anywhere else, we dont take a little blog site to seriously... whatever turns him on innit :)[/i]
If anything the statement proves how little they understand of our motives or genuine beliefs. Indeed if they don't care about this "little blog" (which is now number one on a site of thousands)then why are they making statements about it in the first place?
There is no arguement here for any of their music, neither has there been any attempt to prove us wrong on any kind of level. This is because they know they have no chance in hell.
The second paragraph falls into the tried and tested "They're jealous" category. Get real you dolts, you guys are so far up your own asses that you accuse us of being jealous of a two-bit, entry-level local band that produces derivative and putrid claptrap? Don't flatter yourselves guys. :roll:
Finally, the statement ends with the standard polishing of the other bands collective knobs, and also a cry for sympathy: "Oh we only do it as a hobbie really, we have no egos at all". You should see these guys gigging and you'd understand what a complete farce that final paragraph is.
Anyway, the war rages on, rage against the scene.
Marzipan.
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| Like Sheep They Play Into Our Hands |
| 01.11.06 (10:20 am) [edit] |
This sums the current situation up rather well.
From somebody calling themself [b]Bobby Davro[/b]:
[i]What an interesting bunch of comments. took me 3 and a half hours to read them all but i feel i got summin out of it.
there seems to be 2 groups emerging, one is the fans of real music coming up with decent (and true) reasons about why every reason to are shite, the other is the members of the beforementioned loser gang who copy and paste a hundred different words for minge and cant stand up for thier music that they know deep down is shite. ur fighting a losing battle guyz. lets hope this weird blog thing doesnt do what it did for SHS and make every reason to MORE popular, i don't think this town could take another 'take a life', my ears still bleed.
Marzipan for Life!xxx[/i]
As for the comments we've had, take a look at the post below this. Not one of them is coherent or indeed make anything approaching an arguement. None of you kids can stand up to our arguements and everyone can see that.
No wonder Wales is part of the third world, we're surrounded by cave-men ignoramuses like you people.
Keep the posts coming guys you're really playing into our hands now. :lol:
UPDATE:
Thanks to your efforts guys you've now made Marzipan the number one most popular blog on Tblog: http://www.tblog.com/hot-blog...
:lol:
Marzipan.
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| Here Come the Groupies |
| 01.10.06 (12:31 pm) [edit] |
When dealing with piles of shit, one inevitably comes across the flies that attach themselves to such shit. Such lowly creatures live their lives travelling from here to there looking for sustenance from the lowest order of available resources. These creatures don't just exist in nature but also music scenes across the globe. Today we recieved our first reply(undoubtedly of many more)from somebody calling themselves 'carly':
[i]Okay. I just want to reply to all of this bollocks that's going on because I really don't see the point in it all.[/i]
Oh here we go, nothing like the enlightened mind of a groupie to sort it all out.
[i]What the fuck is up with this Marzipan!?[/i]
Marzipan is a group of collected minds that all agree on one thing: That the local Welsh scene, like a great trash can of ovaries, filled to the brim with the slimy entrails of spawned pop culture and mass marketing has deluded and rusted the minds of the kids involved. The uniformity of the local scene is making it strikingly dull and the conformity within is stifling. We aim to do our part to change this and make the Welsh scene far more appealing and move it from the nondescript faceless pit it is in right now. That's what is 'up' with Marzipan.
[i]Obviously he's been thrown out of a band or some shit because he obviously has a lot of anger in him that he just HAS to take out on little innocent people iin bands.[/i]
I mean obviously, it must be this, I mean what else could it be? Could it be that we're sick and tired of hearing quick-fix, lame-brained no-hopers prancing up and down stages and recording massively sub-par, repetitive and unoriginal toss? No, it must be that we're jealous. :roll:
[i]Let them do their thing for fuck sake!![/i]
If we just let 'bands' like these 'do their thing',(as has been for many years) the scene will become clogged up with this shit. Oh wait, it already has, and that's why we're here doing this in the first place. Tool.
[i]What really IS your problem!!? Stop being such a psychotic bastard and just leave them alone.[/i]
Psychotic, really? That's a big word for you little girl. If being a bunch of psychotic bastards removes us from having any kind of genetic resemblance to you or your ilk then we're honoured by this. Thanks sweetie. :wink:
[i]So what if they don't accomplish anything or get anywhere in life? Just remember, atleast they get their asses out there and have a life than someone like you who just sits at the computer and insults every piece of talent that might come out of Wales.[/i]
Exactly. So what if they continuously churn out big bags of balls?
I don't think you understand. Bands like these are washing out most of the talent that attempts to arise from this area simply because it's not conforming to a media supported look and style. We're sick of trends.
[i]Can't you just support them!? For all you know some of them may grow to be as good as Funeral For A Friend. I'd like to see you try and fucking insult them.
You Cunt.
Get over yourself.[/i]
Support them? Supporting them would be like supporting Hitler or Stalin: Unjustifiably evil. As for Funeral For A Friend we don't exactly think they're the greatest, but damn, if we started criticising them it would put the morons we already do criticise on the same level as them. So don't delude yourself, Funeral For A Friend are and always were at a different class. (Even during the tracksuit days)
And thanks for the advice, because everyone knows that shameless scene whores know everything about life. Go read a book.
Finally to cap yet another post off we'd like to point out how so many of you dumbasses refer to us as an individual. We're a group, simply put which means there are more than one of us which would constitute an individual. Fools.
Yet another post and yet another kid served up.
Marzipan.
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| Same Old Stuff |
| 01.09.06 (2:08 pm) [edit] |
So here we go, it's starting to pick up here at Marzipan land once again. And to start it all off we'll get right to it:
[i]"apnin,
some funi shit, lol,
made me laff,
come on tho,
make some fun of me!!
i wana hear wot u come up with !!
oh yeah,
shearer told me to tell u to make fun of my life in the knife trade too,
www.myspace.commylifeintheknifetrade
make fun of all tha bands u can possibly do,
great stuff!
love ya babe xx
royal xx[/i]
Okay let's check this guy out:
As you can see, he has the grammar and writing ability of a special needs kid. Jesus Christ, you managed to write an entire comment without getting [b]one[/b] sentence correct? We've never come across such dumb-assery on this site before and we thought we saw it all. We'd like to congratulate you on your moronic style of writing, it really appeals to the dumb-slut 14 year-olds that support the bands we really hate. Indeed, we believe that this guy is a member of a piece-of-shit local band. Nobody other than a bullshit band member could write such a head-up-the-arse "Oh look at me I'm Royal, and everyone should know me because I'm in a piece of shit local band" comment. Nobody.
[i]"make some fun of me!!"[/i]
While you were busy sucking your own cock I think you misunderstood what we do here. We don't "make fun" of anyone or anything. We really [b]hate[/b] these bands and indeed the people who populate them. People like you. We believe in real music played by real people. Real men and women. Not you, whoever, whatever you are we don't give a damn, but we thought we'd do a topic about you just to give the new readers a taster of the paint drinkers that populate these bands.
This guy suffers from what is called "Balls in mouth syndrome". It involves a person trying to suck both of his balls at once in his mouth when he can only fit the one. This is common in the morons who comment on this blog and indeed is endemic within crappy local bands who are going nowhere. Thanks for the comment and the ammunition, asshat.
Furthermore, it's actually been on the agenda to include more of the crappy local bands that are sprouting up like wild turds. My Life in The Knife Trade is one of them, naturally. Indeed what [b]is[/b] that about? Knife trade? I'm sure knives would sell well at one of their 'gigs' what with the amount of people looking for an easy way out of it all.
You're a nobody, you're not going anywhere, sit down and let the adults speak.
So for your slow and docile mind to get around my abortion candidate friend, here's a simple run-down of the main pointers:
Learn to read, learn to write, get some skills and lick our collective asses. Then maybe you'll die in the knowledge that you accomplished something in your life.
Marzipan.
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| Spread Le Word |
| 01.09.06 (10:51 am) [edit] |
[b]Firstly[/b], we'd like to thank the current crop of readers for voicing their support for us in this new 2006 campaign. We'd do all this without your support but it does sound very promising and makes a change.
[b]Secondly[/b], we wish to make it clear that we think/thought Second Hand Smile are/were the pits.
[b]Thirdly[/b], without further ado we'd like to ask all of you to simply spread the word of the blog. It's been a while and people are no longer aware that we still function as an internet group. This was largely due to the disbanding of Second Hand Smile and the blog achieving it's original goal.
So we ask you:
If you have any ear for decent music and a belief in integrity and principles please support this crusade by simply spreading the word. If you have any sites or blogs of your own please link it to our blog, we'd really appreciate it. The more people our voices are heard by the greater the impact.
We are even considering posting writings, raves and rants from people outside of the group if we consider them up to our standard. So join us and help weed out the dirt and plant seeds for the future scene with a dedication to real, true and expressionate music with a real local sound and feel. Your grandchildren will thank you for it.
Thanks for reading.
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| Okay. Here we go. |
| 01.04.06 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
It has come to our attention in the year of our lord two-thousand-ought-six that there are many enemies upon the horizon for the quality of local rock music. The evil wthin the local scene did not end with the death of the heretics of Second Hand Smile and has indeed expanded.
You may have noticed that the title of this blog has been changed. It is indeed a very obvious clue as to [b]one[/b] of the bands that we are declaring war upon. Yeah that's right, we're not just taking it out on one band, this time it's [b]three[/b].
And without further ado, we hereby declare war upon the following bands:
[b]Every Reason To[/b]http://www.myspace.com/everyr...
[i]Bunch of talentless lame asses from porthcawl. Like an aborted fetus ejected out of the ass of lameness, Every Reason To quickly became everyone's reason to hate local rock music. A screamer with all the menace of a psychotic coffee machine, a 'singer' that is as flat as Milla Jovovich backed with repetetive and mundane guitar riffs, and a drummer that sounds like he's just injected morphine into his arms. Does it really take six guys to sound this shit? Avoid.[/i]
[b]The Alternative Ending[/b]http://www.myspace.com/thealt...
[i]A name that wishes for an alternate ending to their undoubtedly incredible future careers as Mc'Donald's till-workers, these pop-action pre sell-outs playing to the populist love of 'post-hardcore' would object to their inclusion in this war(largely due to a large case of egoitis). Watching this band is like experiencing a marketing man's wet dream. They look, sound and carry themselves like almost every other band out there. And no, this is no coincidence, these guys are selling their souls for it. You ever get the feeling when watching a band that they're just trying too hard? These guys are, indeed they are floating around populist notions and copying the style of every two-bit post-hardcore band outfit out there to create a synthesis of mass-suckage. Their main 'fanbase' if you could call it that consists of horny 14-year-old girls. Sadly, most 14-year-old girls have as much sense as Hugh Grant in an L.A. car park with a chinese hooker. Avoid.[/i]
[b]The Campfire Soundtrack[/b]http://www.myspace.com/thecam...
[i]We can hear the camp alright, but the fire? More like a wet squib. This is just plain awful. Mix the lack of ability of Every Reason To and the sell-out 'style of, The Alternatve Ending and you get this pile of putrid shittitude. A campfire would be a completely unethical place to play this. This would work great in a concentration camp for lovers of great music. Avoid.[/i]
So there you have it, a summing up on the three bands that we [b]really[/b] dislike.
If you have any objections, then show us how incredibly inept you are at arguing for an axiom of crap by going ahead and commenting. Or if you wish (as we have no doubt) to send messages of love, support and offers of mating with us you're welcome to comment also.
Oh and [b]BTW[/b]: 'Fans' of these bands don't include slutty 14-16 year-old girls, scenester drop-outs, members of the bands, family of the bands or pinko ass baskets.
And regardless, we couldn't give a damn what any of you morons think, your opinion is irrelevant to us, but we do like the entertainment.
Over and out.
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| And So it Ends |
| 11.23.05 (2:25 pm) [edit] |
You may have noticed that we haven't updated for a rather long time here at SHSSS. This is largely due to us losing interest in the piece of shit, Second Hand Smile that we so hate. This happened as the bands output, thankfully, grinded to a halt and no more gigs and recordings were being declared.
We here at SHSSS, would like to inform you that the band formely known as Second Hand Smile, have disbanded.
:lol:
And that's all we'll say.
This is me, Marzipan signing off for the very last time.
And onward to 'The Campfire Soundtrack'. :)
Second Hand Smile don't suck shit anymore. They suck(ed) shit. :wink:
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| And This.... |
| 08.19.05 (7:49 am) [edit] |
[b]"so, who's looking forward to Marzipan picking away at our little discussion and showing everybody our short hand way of typing?"[/b]- 'Denatured Chris'
We couldn't give a toss.
You've proven yourselves to be idiots. No correctional facility exists that will stop you from committing these crimes against music, sense and humanity.
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| Maesteg Gig Thoughts |
| 08.19.05 (7:41 am) [edit] |
A belated review for the Second Hand Smile gig comes from a friend of ours:
[b]"It was fucking bollocks. People who were standing watching then walked off. I heard one guy say that they were the worst band ever, only like, ten people were watching them. Only like two clapped. General BOLLOCKS gig."[/b]
Now from our experience of this band we would agree whole-heartedly.
So anyway, we want your reports from this apparently "Bollocks" gig. If they're interesting we'll put them in an update. We'd also like to see you dipshits who support this band, i.e. the band itself, its four friends, family members and its three fourteen year old groupies to prove this report wrong.
We're back bitches.
Regards, Marzipan.
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| No We're Not Dead |
| 08.19.05 (7:32 am) [edit] |
Sadly for you idiots we're not dead and the voice of reason lives.
The disturbing thing is you morons are still here.
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| You Wish Kid... |
| 08.03.05 (8:49 am) [edit] |
From Tomm:
[b]"it is also painfully obvious that the counter on the side does not count IP adresses but individual hits"[/b]
Erm, please explain how it is 'painfully obvious' that the counter on the side isn't counting individual IP's?
[b]"there isn't really that many people against us...........or for us for that matter because no-one gives a shit any more. People are making their minds up for themselves"[/b]
Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that kid. It doesn't seem to matter that your band space has gained jack shit more friends, and also jack shit comments of support.
[b]"I have been glancing on here on and off for the last hour or so since I got home and there's no way that roughly 40 people have checked this out between 11:30PM and 12:30AM on a tuesday night/wednesday morning"[/b]
Well perhaps on nothing you would create, but yes it is very possible that roughly forty could look within an hour, heck, do you have any idea how many people there are on the net? Fool.
From Daryl:
[b]"actually that counter is individual IP's, I just went on the site a few times to check. But that doesn't mean every hit is one hating SHS, a lot of people have been defending them also"[/b]
Well done Kojak, yes you may notice that the counter does not count you once you've been counted. You can all see this if you refresh your page (Press F5 retards). Seriously, the bullshit and self deception some will believe, e.g. (Tomm) without any form of proof is a joke.
Another week, nothing's different:
[b][u]Second Hand Smile Suck Shit[/u][/b]
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| Yet Another Threat From A Nobody |
| 07.29.05 (7:52 am) [edit] |
[b]"Dear marzipan, i"[/b][sic][b]"now know exactly who you are,"[/b]
Great, you know who we are, well done Sherlock. Care to enlighten us?
[b]"and i"[/b][sic][b]"do wish some type of harm against you,"[/b]
You wish some harm against us? Please expand.
[b]"i"[/b][sic] [b]"am not a member of second hand smile neither a real fan at that,"[/b]
Lucky you.
[b]"but i"[/b][sic][b]"do respect that they are making their own music and showing people what they have."[/b]
We don't. If somebody showed us a bag of shit we'd be repulsed.
[b]"if they were some what "shit" as you say, why would so many people take time out of their busy lives to come onto a poorly made blog site against some people just making music to post comments against the image you are portraying."[/b]
Well you see not many people are posting against us at all. We count just over ten people maybe less and that includes the band itself. You then say the blog is poorly made, yes it looks like a pile of shit, we made no effort at that as we felt (as we've said before) that it is representative of the subject matter. On the other hand, people aren't coming here to look at the pretty colours as you may, but at the actual content and read (if you can)what is being said. The image as you say we are portraying is called reality.
[b]"So you lanky bastard's"[/b][sic]
I think the poster suffers from what is known as 'Napoleon Complex' http://www.urbandictionary.co...+complex&r=f
[b]"who are running this tblog should expect a few eggs, toilet paper, stink bombs, and super glue against your houses and family's loved cars."[/b]
Oh no, not the eggs, toilet paper and the stink bombs! Damn, we thought you were coming at us with AK-47's, SA80A2's and satchel charges!
[b]"that is all, see you around.
much love
greg collins
xx"[/b]
Damn Greg, you know we don't do kisses on the first date. We're old fashioned like that.
[b]"(p.s that's not really my name i"[/b][sic] [b]"just couldn't use a real name and be taken to prison for carrying out these actions could i"[/b][sic][b]" ;) )[/b]"[/b]
Oh yes, you wouldn't want to get put away fifteen years for the heinous crimes of scratched cars, egg malfunctions and stinky underwear. Stone cold killer. Or, more like stone cold limp dick.
Move along buddy we have bigger fish to fry.
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| We Had Some Fun With This Guy |
| 07.28.05 (6:09 am) [edit] |
This one is from 'newbie':
[b]"u"[/b][sic] [b]"say shs suk"[/b][sic] [b]"shit but have u"[/b][sic][b]"ever actually sucked shit?"[/b]
Nope, we have never sucked shit buddy, what's your point?
[b]"if you have then u"[/b][sic][b]"are probaly"[/b][sic][b]"gay and should be killed."[/b]
That's a nice bit of homophobia you've got going there buddy, I suppose you also think the world is flat and women shouldn't be allowed to vote? Arsehole.
[b]"if not, dont knock it until you have tried it."[/b]
Woah, just a moment you just said that we'd be 'gay' and 'should be killed' for doing so, change of heart I take it?
[b]"may be really cool, until i"[/b][sic][b]"see someone literaly"[/b][sic][b]"suc k shit with my own eyes then i"[/b][sic] [b]"will take it as a compliment and i"[/b][sic][b]"suggest that all other shs fans (all 15 of them and theyre"[/b][sic][b]"all their frends and u r"[/b][sic] [b]"jealous cos u"[/b][sic][b]"aint"[/b][ sic][b]"got none u"[/b][sic][b]" dick) do the same."
"yay"[/b][sic][b]"second hand smile suck shit!!!
rock n roll!!!"[/b]
Okay, we didn't understand that entire paragraph.
[b]"(also....i'm not in a band but can u make a hate site 4"[/b][sic] [b]"mee"[/b][sic][b] "any way cos"[/b][sic][b]"i"[/b][s ic][b]"want more frends[/b][sic][b]....plz?"[/b][sic])
[b]"u"[/b][sic] [b]"sir are a cunt"[/b]
Well yes, we can tell you can't have that many friends,considering you type at a five year old emotional level. Man, it makes us wonder how you even managed to turn on, connect to the net and type this post. First time user? Go back to the creche idiot.
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| Okay, and what planet did you just warp from? |
| 07.25.05 (11:05 am) [edit] |
Here's a gem from 'sam':
[b]"hey panny!
i just think you need to know that any publicity is good publicity...more people are checking out their site and disagreeing with your point of view.
so cheers mate!
haha
muchos loveos
xsamx"[/b]
Okay Sam, we can see you don't exist in this dimension, you know, the dimension where Second Hand Smile suck shit? I'm sure more people are checking out their site, but, I can see no messages of support from the supposed masses that you thought would defend that band. Indeed where are these people other than their friends? And really, I've given you so much publicity, but you shouldn't thank me. Why? Because the noise is so bad from that vile quarter of the net, that it's enough to send any person who can hear into a raging disgust of the wall of noise that confronts them.
Also alot of you jerks have been saying things like [b]"Oh, we dunt care and nbdy cares abt yur site panny cos we dnt go here anymore. HhahHa LoL k thnks bye"[/b] Well yes, perhaps the actual 'fans' of this band, which we estimate to be at a number close to 15 don't come here anymore but, if you look to the right we have a counter for all of the individual IP's that have accessed this site. This currently stands at 465. That's 465 different people here or there that have logged onto this blog. Not bad for a hate blog about a shitty little band. And if you notice the number keeps increasing at around 20+ per day at the moment. So no, we are booming right now.
BTW, in news Second Hand Smile will be playing at the oh so great Porthcawl Rugby Club on September 25th. Be warned, may produce deafness and a penchant for tinnitus.
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| Someone Doesn't Get It |
| 07.21.05 (1:04 pm) [edit] |
[b]"Thanks for not getting the sarcasm in the FFAF reference."[/b]
Yeah, your writing style is a little under developed at times.
[b]"OF course there is a scene, but people like you are obviously entirely delusional, and whats more obsessed with the notion of a 'scene'."[/b]
Delusional of what exactly? Delusional enough to think that Second Hand Smile are a good band and a credit to humanity? I think not.
[b]"It is a horrible word, and quite often has no relevance in today's musical trends, as alot of othe bands that you seem to support merely want to get popular and famous and make lots of money, and sign to a big label and to really 'make' it. How can bands like this, ever be part of a 'scene', if they only want to escape it to make money?"[/b]
Well how exactly does the scene or indeed the word have absolutely no relevance in "today's musical trends"? You need to expand on that. You then say about bands that we "seem to support". Erm, could you please list these bands that we have vocally supported? The voices in your head don't count, they are not us.
[b]"I recently read an interview with Ian Mackaye, who said one day, not that long ago, Fugazi were on some VH1 top 100 list, on television and when Ian's electrician or something came around, he commented 'So, you've finally made it!'. And he was like 'We've been a band for 15 years, and been happy and made some music that we're extremely proud of, and stayed true to our DIY ethics for all those years. We 'made it' a long time ago.' A very wise message, I'm sure you'll agree."[/b]
Yes, but what relevance does this have with Second Hand Smile? Are Second Hand Smile starting their own label and making the thought provoking politically charged music of Minor Threat and Fugazi? No. Therefore your entire post is irrelevant as to what this blog is about. This is not about the politics within the music industry but simply about how bad this 'band' really is.
So all you idiots know, we didn't set this up to chat about the philosophy of Immanuel Kant or taking a piss in artic conditions, this is simply about one thing:
[u]SECOND HAND SMILE SUCK SHIT[/U]
Fools.
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| Nice try Buddy But..... |
| 07.19.05 (12:16 pm) [edit] |
Okay, so we got a private message off some guy who set up a blog on here. This guy is so convinced that we are somebody, we laughed our collective arses off.
Check this out:
[b]"this is a private message to marzipan"[/b]
No shit.
[b]"I know who you are I have studied your text"[/b]
An MI5 decipherer in the house.
[b]"and know that you are female live within 1 mile of porthcawl town centre and have attended Porthcawl comp up until recently you have an exceptionally twisted mind and seriously need help."[/b]
Okay, so this guy has tracked us down by GPS and also has a degree in psychology.
[b]"You get off on controlling and upsetting honest[/b] (DIShonest) [b]loving sensitive people."[/b]
Yes you're right there, but we like to call them pussies.
[b]"You are the original smiling assasin"[/b]
Oh man, we're honoured, really we feel touched that you think we started Machiavellianism, strange how it wasn't called Marzipanism don't you think? Idiot.
So yeah, we love to masturbate while you idiots whittle on about things like how there is "No scene man" (No not for you fool), and how you're "GNONA' SMAHS URE TEEF IN!11".
So in the interest of this poor girl, (And this guy who shall remain nameless for looking like such a moron) whos only saving grace is seemingly that she knows what bad music is, we must say this: No we are not this girl who you speak of. We never have been nor will we ever be this poor girl who seems to have been driven to insanity by years of listening to a putrid pile of smile.
Nice one, poirot.
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| Frontman Speaks |
| 07.17.05 (12:48 pm) [edit] |
[b]"the bands that gigs in the toll house on thursday nights are emo-core you know the score bands (naming no names) who are here 2day and gone tomorrow."[/b]
Oh dear, we guess that's an insult to every band that has played there for the past five years.
Not a wise thing to say.
And as an extra:
Alot of you people are asking us to comment on what you say, well we're going to say here and now that this is our blog and we'll comment on what we like. We will not be dictated to.
We'd like to take this opportunity to thank all clear thinkers for supporting our cause. If you wish to contact us by e-mail we will be making that available soon when we sort out security issues.
Keep watching.
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| Guest Submission |
| 07.16.05 (2:28 pm) [edit] |
This is a guest submission of what was said on the hate blog for this site by team member (Bob Dylan):
"[b]Haha, what the hell man,
SHS, why so you defend them? You are a friend of them I'm guessing? Get a grip, I know, removing your cranium from their collective anus is a tricky deal, but try it, you will feel a lot better.
Where are they going to be? What will they achieve? You wanna' tell me how they can change our lives, hopes and dreams etc? Ask anyone, their favourite bands have had a monumental impact on their lives, I for one definitely feel a strong positive impact on my life from the bands that I admire.
I hate your music, the way you project yourselves, and the way you assume to be superior than other bands, hell, If you disbelive my post, some randon typing on an insignificant blog, you are welcome.
But I will be damned, if any psuedo-emo pricks thinks they can make meaningful lyrics, interesting music and a influential band that are worth money or attention.
Hypocritical? Because of the attention you have created because of the abysmal shiteness? No, protest to close shite down is a statement to stop something, free speech and all that shit. Attention to something terrible you have achieved, if that was you goal, well done but nice waste of time. If all you SHS members meant this as a true project, take a step back, look, listen and lie to yourselves that what you are doing is meaningful.[/b]
We thought it was quite true really. More soon from the team.
Keep watching.
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| We Have a Spin-Off! |
| 07.15.05 (8:42 am) [edit] |
Well hello ladies and gentlemen. We see that during our time away there has been a huge rise in hits for this blog in the past few days. From a check of the IP logs we have found that there is 7 or 8 people in all truly hating us. Not a bad start guys, but you'll have to do alot better than that. It's a strange thought also that so many people have said that nobody cares what this blog says. Well we don't care if it did, but, regardless well over a hundred different IP's have logged on to this blog in the past day. People do care about this travesty of a band and what this blog says. This new found popularity is largely due to a band member advertising this site on the bands Myspace account(Where you can hear the noise). Why he's done this we don't know. It's one of the stupidest things I've ever seen done on the net. This guy really and truly thinks that his band is actually good and will be defended by everyone the world over. Sadly, this untruth is rather embarrassing and he's only kicking him and his band in the long-run. Also, due to the torrent of barely readable, illogical and idiotic posts that threatened us with our lives that seemingly were written by twelve year olds; we are unable to answer every single one of them. In fact, we're going to put down a rule: We will only answer your comment if we find it interesting, original and not in any way "OMG LOL U R SO FUCKIN DEAD SHS ROCK LOLOLOL DIE!". Sadly we haven't found anything that approaches our level of correspondence as of yet, although we have had an offer of an alliance from the mysterious "Lynne". As always, we are not fools and will be taking precautions as we contact "Lynne". And now to the actual reason for this post: WE HAVE A SPIN-OFF!. As is what the title of this post is. Yes a certain fellow has set up a site of his own, as a hate site to this site. Genious.
Check his blog out at: http://dangerandy.tblog.com/
Show the love peeps.
Oh and we'd like to congatulate Second Hand Smiles performance at [b][u]OPEN MIC NIGHT[/u][/b] at the pier hotel last night. It lived up to all of our expectations. (Or lack of them)
Laters people.
Your friend
Marzipan
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The amount of people who want to be us currently stands at:
Free Hit Counter
^For the band this blog was originally about click above.
^Every reason to stick a screwdriver into each ear.
^In an alternate universe these guys are the greatest.
���©Marzipan 2005-2006
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